How can these eyes are still crying???? What r they crying about????

To be honest yah…pas lagi ngetik nih kalimat mang blom nangis. Tapi bentar lagi, klo udah mulai ngayatin apa yang aku tulis, nih air mata bakal netes. Perhatian saudara…saudara…nih air mata bukan air mata buaya. bukan air mata yang di buat2 untuk menarik perhatian, nih air mata "diproses" dari hasil pemikiran n memori2 masa lalu yang terus2an minta diingat. Urghh….kenapa jadi cengeng gini sih??? How can these eyes are still crying???? What r they crying about????

Gosh…gila ya…kemaren tuh 30 Juni 2006 (tanggal keramat nich !!!!), hari yang bener2 gak bakal aku lupain seumur hidup. Hari terakhir aku di sekolah… hari terakhir belajar di kelas, n ketemu + diajarin ma guru2 yang menurut aku COOL banget. pagi pagi aku masih seneng2 aja…jalan ke bus stop sambil diiringin Rob yang nyanyi "Nhira is waving Goodbye…".

Pas di bus aku baca2 leraning Diary aku, siap2 untuk tes human Bio. Last day at school n i still have human Bio test on the very last period. Bloody Hell !!!! Di bus tadi, pas melanee naik bus, dia duduk di sebelah aku n tiba2 dia ngasih hadiah gitu ke aku. "It’s farewell gift for u". Aduh..tuh hadiah cute banget, hiasan kaca. Soo Cute…, " Wow…thanks..u don’t need to do that!!!!" " That’s all right… btw, i love the thing u gave to me yesterday. they r gorgeous". Emang sih, aku sengaja ngebungkus oleh2 yang aku bawa dari Samarinda untuk dikasih ma temen2 and guru2 disini, sebagai farewell gift gitu…supaya, paling nggak 5 atau 10 tahun kedepan, mereka inget klo dulu ada cewek dari samarinda yang pernah masuk ke kehidupannya mereka.

Anyway, pas pindah ke bus kecil, cleo yang duduk di depan aku bilang "Ooohh…it’s your last day!!! i’m gonna miss u when u r gone. it’s sooo sad". well…aku mulai mikir yang sedih2 nih…Urgh… pas turun dari bus, aku ngasih hadiah dr aku ke Cleo…"Ohh…thnx very much nhira…" trus kita pelukan di depan skul gitu deh. mungkin orang2 pada heran, kenapa nih pelukan pagi2 di depan skul???

Trus aku jalan ke auditorium, ketemu yang laen. aku ngasih kenag2an ke temen2 yang blom aku kasih. trus bel masukan bunyi deh. Jalan ke kelas English, aku baca2 Learning diaryku bentar trus tiba2 nicole bilang "hey…Nhira..it’s ur last day!!!!" bukan pertanyaan, tapi pernyataan. trus mereka semua pada ribut. "Why didn’t u tell us??? we could bring a cake!!" kata jody. "that’s all rite…we can drive any time…" kata amy. Pas Mr.maguire dateng, mereka ribut bilang "we have a party this lesson mr.maguire. it’s nhira’s last day. we’ll buy a cake". Aduh, pokonya pas period itu bener2 deh. mereka coba ngerayu Mr. Maguire supaya kita gak usah belajar n parahnya pake jual nama aku. Shit ey!!! "C’mon Mr.Maguire…it’s her last day n anyway it’s the last day of school. C’mon Sir !!!!" Nah lo…rayuan maut keluar deh. akhirnya Mr. Maguire gak tahan juga digombalin mulu, akhirnya kta nonton film The castle deh. kan filmnya bener2 aussie tuh bahasanya juga bener2 bahasa aussie. "Fuckin hell!!!!!" "what the fuck is that??" maafkan language saya saudara saudara….tapi itu bener2 naskah filmnya kok. mr.maguire bilang "Don’t u say that to your teacher nhira…don’t blame me" katanya sambil ketawa. Pas kelas bubar, aku, amy Mc, amy H, n sara jalan bareng ama Mr.Maguire. aku ngasih kenang2an aku ke mr maguire, dia langsung buka di tengah jalan gitu. pas liat aku ngasih itu ke mr maguire, amy langsung bilang "Wow….u r soo nice Nhira". n Alhamdulillah dia suka banget. ‘i’ll put it in dispalay cabinet n show this to the other teacher..na na na na na". Hahahaha….Mr maguire tuh lucu banget sih… Huah….bakal kangen banget ma joke-jokenya dia. Hua…..

pas recess gitu, kita ngumpul di tempat biasa, dia auditorium. kali ini tempat dimana kita biasa duduk, pada penuh…Kita bakal ngambil foto hari ini. Hahahaha….rame banget. 1 grup ngumpul bareng, duduk manis di tangga audi, karena banyak banget orangnya, kita sampe diliatin ma anak2 yang duduk di bagian laen audi. Halah…cuek aja…hari terakhir aku ini. katheryn tiba2 ngampirin aku n ngasih boneka kucing ke aku. Duh…imut banget… abis itu aku jalan bareng eila n sara ke kelas math. Gila ya….sepi amat. cuma 12 orang di kelas, n kita juga gak gitu belajar. pas mau keluar dari kelas gitu, Mr plant bilang "Nhira…thanks for your gift, they r really cool. are they from your indonesia???" "yeah…they r. glad u like it Mr plant" "well…i do…anyway…good luck, it’s a pleasure to teach u. have a safe trip home".

Pas lunch, aku langsung ngacir ke kelas bahasa indonesia… abis nyelesain personal things, aku coba nyari Mrs. mary di kantornya, tapi dia gak ada. ya udah, aku balik ke audi, coba baca2 LD tapi gak masuk2 tuh pelajaran. becanda2 ma yang laen, coba nikmatin saat2 terakhir. Uhh..maybe i’m too exaggerating kali ya, but what should i do though??? pas lagi ngobrol2 gitu, jess ma sam n krystal datang dari arah laen n tiba2 dia ngampirin n bilang "Nhira…can we talk to u for a sec??" "yeah..sure. what’s up???"

"we have something for u. it’s farewell gift for u, n jess will say the speech" katanya sambil ngelirik jess yang bawa kertas gitu. "ha??? really??? " "no…but yeah" katanya. aku cuma nyengir doank liatnya. jess ngelirik kertasnya n dia bilang "we love u"

"Ooohh….that’s so sweet. i love u too"

trus krystal ma jess sibuk ngubek2 tas, n sam ngajak2 aku ngobrol gitu (ngalihin perhatian maksudnya). "all right…ready??? "

mereka mulai ngasih 1 demi satu hadiahnya. Gila banyak banget…. pertama aku dikasih kartu ucapan. Ya ampun…berkaca-kaca mataku pas bacanya. Ugh…cengeng amat sih??? trus mereka ngelarin bookmark dengan tulisan aussie slang gitu deh, trus coins wallet, trus boomerang, trus road sign tulisannya BUGGER, trus pulpen kangguru boxing gitu (aku langsung ketawa liatnya), trus dia bilang "this is the big one nhira" n dia ngeluarin aussie hat gitu deh. aku langsung teriak ngeliatnya. "Wow….that one". dia langsung makein tuh topi di kepala aku n ku langsung meluk mereka ber3. "Thanks guys…u don’t have to give me these". "That’s all right nhira.."

trus kita balik ke audi…gak lama bel bunyi. Ugh…bugger, harus say bye ma yang laen donk!!! jadi kita pelukan gitu… jess malah sobbed gitu. Aduh…jangan nangis disini donk…jangan !!!! kita jalan bareng ke arah yang sama, trus pas nyampe di deket english office, kan kita misah. jess bilang "nhira….." sambil ngelambaiin tanagnnya. "Bye jess…."

Hhh….aku masih inget hari pertama aku di sekolah ini n tiba2 sekarang…hari terakhir. pas di kelas photography, aku nyelesain display foto aku, sambil baca2 learning diary lagi. n pas pelajaran selesai mr. byrne bilang "have a safe trip home Nhira n good luck". trus aku ma laura jalan ke kelas Human bio, pas nyampe kelas kita langsung nyari spot gitu….bukan spot untuk ngapa2in, spot untuk ngerjain tes. Uhh…kenapa sih harus ada tes di jam jam gini. c’mon..last day of school n the worst thing was on last period. Ohh…no one could think in this time… biarin deh, hasil tesnya juga gak ngaruh lagi buat aku. I’M OUTTA HERE!!!!!!!

Pas waktu tes mo abis n aku udah males mikir lagi, akhirnya ya udah…diem di kursi. Mr. brothers bagiin learning diary kita. n pas nyampe didepan aku dia bilang "This is really good" n pas aku buka untuk ngeliat nilainya aku dapat 18/18. yay….. Sebelum aku keluar kelas, mr bro nyalamin aku "Good luck Nhira!!!!" n laura ma nicole kan mo keluar kelas gitu, tiba2 mereka balik n bilang "ahh…i’m gonna miss u" n jadinya kita pelukan gitu. "take care nhira…call me when u come back here". "No worries…"

aku jalan ma jess ke depan skul, n kan biasanya aku duduk di blok rumput gitu, ngobrol2 sambil nungguin bus dateng, tuh tempat biasanya gak penuh2 amat, n kali ini…tuh tempat penuuuh banget. jess, kate, sam, krystal, svenja, althea, jasmin,smuanya deh…trus mrs. mary juga ada disitu. nah lo???? pas aku makin deket, jess tiba2 nunju2 ke arah aku.

abis aku naruh file photographyku, aku langsung bilang ke mrs.mary "where were u. i was loking for u at lunch time"

"i was in spencer park primary. well…this is for u nhira" dia ngasih kartu ma kado gitu deh. "Wow…thanks mrs. mary". "thanks for your help in my indonesian class. n someday i’ll knock on your door, i’d like to visit u sometimes n meet your family"

"Yeah…sure. u r more than welcome" gave her a big cuddle n dia pergi deh. trus althea bilang "another present.."

"yeah…another one". trus aku buka kadonya..n hey…i got kangoroo!!!! Hahaha….n ada 1 kotak, yang later on aku buka isinya anting2 opal gitu Duh…bagusnya. n amlop itu…isinya kartu ucapan n juga badge ASHS. Wow….suka banget!!!!! pas bus dateng, kita langsung sibuk pelukan gitu… gak mau pergi!!!!! jess mulai sobbing gitu…Damn…nih mata mulai gak bisa diajak kompromi deh. "Nhira…"kt jess sambil natap dengan mata yg gimanaaaa gitu. "Jess…don’t make me cry!!!!" aku bilang

aku lari2 ke bus…udah telat banget , tuh bus terpaksa nungguin aku deh. n di skul bus, kayaknya nih air mata udah gak bisa ditahan lagi. tiba2 aja netes air mata. Urgh….i tried to stop it, but i couldn’t. mana kevin ngeliat lagi…Urgh….NOT HAPPY !!!!!!

Urgh…kok jadi mellow banget gini??? pengen pulang…tapi juga gak pengen. rasanya ninggalin temen2 n keluarga disini lebih sedih deh daripada ninggalin temen2 n keluarga di Samarinda. mungkin karena pas aku ninggalin semua yang ada di Samarinda dulu aku sadar klo aku cuma pergi untuk 11 bulan n setelah itu bakal balik lagi.

apa itu berarti aku gak yakin klo aku bakal alik lagi ke sini??? orang-rang disni pada yakin aku bakal balik, masa aku sendiri gak ada keyakinan akan diri aku sendiri??? Urgh…old nhira’s back everyone!!!!

To all people that i know…i love u guys heaps…

Hidup bukan untuk bersedih…

Engkau hanya harus memilih

meski harus menahan pedih yang dalam…

(Meninggalkanmu - Jikustik)

Sebuah akhir bukan berarti akhir dari segalanya kan??? Siapa tahu itu adalah awal dari sesuatu yang baru

U just never know…..

End of Stay Camp in York

Dear Blog….

I’m back !!!! Ugh, my legs are killing me !!! i just had my AFS Orientation camp in York. Mind u..it’s my LAST one. Anyway..last friday, i caught the bus from Albany to East perth station. spent 6 hours sit on the bus, n when i got there, i had to wait about 1.5 hours for the other afs students to come. it was about 4.30 pm, no exchange students came n i hardly saw the afs leaders. so i decided to walked around n found them. i didn’t find any afs leaders, but i found 1 exchnge student that i’ve never met before. so we chilled n decided to go back inside. n there i found Minalka (afs coord) called me. so we went to the other side of the building then i saw liz, charles n yves, then not long after that, eerika n stephie came, then taylor n tania. n we had to wait for the bus again. it took 4ever!!!!! we r all hungry!!!!

when the bus finally came…we all got on the bus, the bus was half full already. i met half of the xchange student, then we went to midland to pick the rest of xchange student n off we went to York. when we got there n got off from the bus, it was freezing. so we hurried get in the house n warmed up. caught up with all of them, n half of them r going to safari, so we’re talking about safari. then we had pizza for dinner… and after that, we got on the AFS thing. we r divided into 2 groups. end of group n mid year group.

end of year group talked pretty much about what we did, how we changed n everything, all of the fear n expectation that we had when we first got here, n for our next life. and also we read the letter from us to ourselves..i was laughing when i read mine. i didn’t realize that i was so naive. Hahahaha…..well…at least i’m happy about how everything’s going in my life. i’ve done everything i wanna do, even more than i wanna do. all of the silly little things that makes me upset are NOTHING. so happy i finally could say that.

And then, we just did everything that we wanna do. caught up with friends and stuff. i’m definitely gonna miss this. and when i was talking to alice n Chihiro in the hall way. Tim (afs leader) said "Don’t come to the big room, all right" , n we just nodded even though we r confusing what was going on. n i became more confusing when tim dragged me to the big room. then i step in the dinner room, i saw tania lighted the candle n she gave me one. "take this…it represents your exchange year" then i walked in the big room n Matt greeted me n said "sit wherever u wanna sit" then i saw liz sat on the centre of the room, lots of pillow and candle in the middle around, and also relaxing CD was on, looked really peaceful, so i sat next to her. one by one the end of year student came n we sat on the circle..n after all of us were there, liz started talking. she talked about sort of our reflection when we r here…n also in 1 month, we’ll leave this country, leave our host family n friend or in a short word..leave our life here. So sad….then we talked about what we felt, and after we finished talking we blew our candle off. sooo sad…..

Then after that, basicly just free time. we talked about everything, jimmy gave me goodbye card. that’s so pretty. then when i felt really tired, i went to bed n woke up in cold the next morning. we had breakfast, charles made the pancake for us. then after breakfast, we did energizer. we did this to get rid the cold feeling n it worked. n after that, we did the AFS thing again, now we r talking about us before we came n we r now. have we changed? n i think i change. i think i’m happier than before (doesn’t mean i wasn’t happy), not only focus on 1 thing, there r lots more to see n think than what i used to see n think, more appreciate everything that i got. and after that we had morning tea, talked about soccer n stuff n yves tried to insulting but also love the other countries. Silly yves !!!!

after the discussion, we had lunch. that was yummy… pumpkin soup n sausage rolls. Yummy !!!! n after lunch, we wnet for a walk around the town…this town is pretty. we talked all the way to town, even i had a bit of discussion with jimmy. that’s good… n after that, we were heading back to the camp site, got on the bus n off we went to the shearing shed. we saw the people did the shearing and we did that as well. i had a go and i loved it. they told us everything about the shearing stuff n after that, we walked around to see the emu. and after a while, we decided it’s time to go. Julian, Ale, n Marta went straight away from there to perth, to catch the plane to sydney. so we said goodbye to them n we headed back to camp site. we had nothing to do, so we just did some random stuff n more people went back to perth. and when it was about dinner time, it’s only me,tiki,maria,kao,tang mo,chihiro,jimmy,fernanda,mily,eva,n hanna n also liz n tania as the leaders, n allison n grand ma as the cooks.

the dinner was absolutelly nice, roast beef n vedgies…Hmm….Yummy !!!! n when we were eating liz n tania said "Guys…we r going to have Talent Show tonight". we started to think what we were gonna do. i had no idea at all….n finally me,tiki n maria thought to sing n dance. i told them the afs songs that i got from afs indonesia. firts i told them the "Walk together n Talk together song" n when i sang the "From coast to coast song" they liked it. so we did that song n we tried to choreo the dance. Well….it was good basicly we just humiliated our selves among the people. But it’s worth it though, they like it n gave us the loud claps. Tiki lost her voice slightly after that, n we teased her that’s because she was singing. actually, she wasn’t singing that much, she made the sound of aussie bush n just laughing at us. Shit ey !!! but still had very great time !!!! i woke up until late…n when i, tiki n maria went to the kitchen to get a drnk, we met liz n she said "nhira…u r still up!! i’m so proud of u" she said while touched my head softly. n when we got back to our dorm, i didn’t go to sleep straight away, i was talking with maria n kao about host fam n stuff. n we r up until past 2 o clock n i slept in maria’s bed while she slept on the floor.

in the morning..it was freezing again. liz made us get up, n when she saw me "Nhira…there u are. i didn’t see u in your bed. i thought u went somewhere". "No..i’m not going anywhere, i slept there" i pointed out maria’s bed. eva n hanna left the camp site when we were up, so said goodbye to them n then we had breakky. tiki definitely had a problem with talking. she had no voice to speak… Hahahaha LOL!!!! even she called our group as Teddy bear group. cos i called maria Teddy Bear n i’m obsessed with Play School theme song. Hahahaha….sooo funny !!!!!

after that, i had interview with liz. just talked about everything n she recorded it. so we’ll get the cassette back n we could listen to how our english improves. i listened to it this morning, n i sound really funny. couldn’t bear to laugh at myself. and after everyone had a turn, we packed up, cleaned up n ready to go. liz took us to the river, we took lots of pics n i felt so happy and sad at the same time. My last chance to hang out with them. we walked across the hanging bridge..well…not really walking i s’pose. we ran across the bridge. n made kao freaked out. we took lots of pics in there. n then ate our morning tea in the park while waiting for the bus came. n when the bus came, we finally had to say good bye…even liz has to drag jimmy got in the bus, because we still wanna be together. Sooo sad… i said goodbye to all of them…they r really cool. thanks for everything guys, thanks for laughing with me…

Friends forever….

we knew each other about 4 months ago but at the first time we met, we just click u know… i’m gonna miss u all guys soo much. n also liz…Hahaha…she’s really cool leader.

Huh…i only have 4 weeks left…dunno what to do…

so many things to do…

so little time left…

in 1 month, i’ll be back to my home town, the place i live until a year ago…meet all of the people that i’ve known since i was a kid…back to my old routine…

Those things look really strange for me now

Ugh…God…help me…guide me to the right place. i know u always have the greatest plan for me.

My resolution when i ‘m back is just be happy. try to enjoy every seconds of my life… Don’t be too serious…try to be a better person.

Exam’s over n counting down

Pheuw….exam’s over

Setelah "nge date" ama buku-buku warna - warni yang berisi bahasa asing dari planet lain itu, akhirnya aku bisa lepas deh dari mereka. Selasa lalu (6 juni) exam nya dimulai. untung hari itu aku cuma ada English exam. well…i thought that wasn’t too bad. English exam beda banget ma Ulangan bahasa Indonesia. Di Indo, klo ulangan bahasa Indo, kita harus ngapal gimana cara buat surat resmi ini n itu, sebutkan tahap2 untuk ngebuat ini n itu…aduh, apaan sih. iya kalau kita juga ngapal yang gituan, kalau nggak? mati kutu kan? Bahasa indonesia kan bahasa pertama kita, kita emang perlu tahu tahap2 n cara2 nyusun ini n itu, tapi kenapa mereka nggak bikin soal yang justru bikin pikiran kita berkembang. nggak cuma kepatok ma buku2 doank.

English exam disini, mereka nggak ngasih kita sejubung pertanyaan yang text book banget. mereka ngasih 2 wacana, n tugas kita untuk mengidentifikasi tuh wacana. Dengan gitu, guru bisa tahu klo nih anak punya gagasan bagus, pikirannya maju. n kita juga ada extended answer yang cocok banget untuk mengapresiasikan pandangan kita mengenai sesuatu hal. Nggak usah hal yang rumit, hal-hal tentang sehari-hari aja. Huh….gemes banget rasanya. Gemes karena sebentar lagi aku bakal ngadapin itu semua. Back to my hard life….

Anyway…. abis tuh english exam…hari kamisnya aku ada math exam…Asli ya..sebelum tuh exam, aku freak out banget. Tiba2 semua ketenangan ancur, pas lagi nunggu masuk Youth centre, malah menggigil nggak karuan. emang sih, cuaca hari itu juga gak nice banget. mendung n windy…. tapi alhamdulilllah, semua kegelisahan itu nggak berarti apa-apa. aku bisa ngerjain Exam nya… nggak percuma nih otak sampe butek liat angka2 math. n exam human bio…Oh gosh…that was a nightmare. it was bloody hard….. especially the extended answer, made me wanna cry….hope i’ll get good result.

But as soon as i made my way out the door, i tried to forget everything n just lied back. borrowed couple books from school lib n then went to town, wondered around n had a rest at town library n got 3 more books again. Yuhuu…..it would keep me occupied.

so here i am…just enjoy my day off. So nice…i wanna finish my unfinished business. Oh..yeah..very very unfinished business. Hehehe….

Hey..ges wot? i think i’m going crazy now. i am definitely Eagles fans now…everytime i watched their games, i always can’t contol myself. everytime their opponent make the goal, i’ll scream, n when they make the goal, i even scream louder. And this last 2 weeks, they always make me even crazy. In the first and second quarter, they looked like they caouldn’t play really well. Tim lawan terus terusan ngecetak gol, mereka cuma masukin 1 point ke tim mereka. n pas di last quarter (2 minggu lalu), pas mereka ngelawan melbourne, mereka tuh ketinggalan 9 goal (54 points), tapi akhirnya mereka berhasil nyusul di last quarter n akhirnya berhasil ngalahin melbourne, menang dr mereka dengan 2 point ahead. Shit ey !!!! n weekend barusan, pas mereka ngelawan carlton, lagi2 mereka ngelakuin hal yang sama. bahkan di awal last quarter, mereka kayaknya blom bisa main sebaik yang mereka bisa. pas di last 10 mins, baru deh mereka mulai nyerang lagi. mereka cuma 5 goal behind, pas tinggal 5 menit, mereka masih jelek mainnya, sampai akhirnya aku bilang "Nah…they r not gonna win this time". but i was wrong…. pas di 2 menit terakhir, suddenly they could manage to put their shit together…n they did it again…won by 10 points. Huh….i was soo happy n when i watched it…don’t even ask me to tell u. so embarassing i s’pose. i couldn’t stop jumping n screaming in front of the tv in the lounge room. My extended answer example question was in my hand, but i didn’t have time to look at it while they were playing. Mum was in the kitchen, prepared the tea, n finally she stopped whatever it was she’s doing n watched the last 1 min with me…when finally they took the lead, i was jumping on the steps. Mum just shook her head… Well…it’s the side effect after u took me to MCG Mum…Don’t blame me !!!!!

N tadi malem, pas aku ma Rob nonton FIFA World Cup. Big game loh…Aussie vs japan. kita berdua mikir Aussie bakal kalah, mereka punya banyak chance untuk masukin goal, cuma kurang ketepatan aja. n pas di 15 menit sebelum pertandingan selesai, kita makin yakin aussie bakal kalah, ngeliat posisi Aus vs jpn 0-1. n pas di 10 menit terakhir akhirnya cahill berhasil nyetak gol. jadi sekarang aussie seimbang ma jepang. kami ber2 teriak pas dia nyetak gol n makin ngakak pas denger komentar komentatornya "Wow..cahill…he’s been eating his weetbix". Hahaha…i reckon that was funny. n i believed what he said when he kicked another goal 5 mins after. Go Tim Cahill !!!! they should’ve put him on the team in the first place. and then again…it wasn’t over yet, Jono kicked another goal n finally aussie won. What a great last minute for Aussie. Go Aussie….

tuh lounge room isinya emang cuma 2 orang, tp ributnya kaya ada 10 orang disitu. huh….So Happy…..

Tinggal 1 bulan lagi nih…. jadi tambah kangen ma semua.

am i having a long face???

Am i having a long face??

dunno…i don’t really know what i’m feeling at the moment. so silly, as always. Hahaha…..

Hey…ges wot??? i’m leaving in 1.5 months. Hua…hua…time goes so fast, i don’t even feel it. first time i got here, i felt like i couldn’t survive. 10 months seemed like bloody long time to go, but now at this sec, i feel like i haven’t been here for 10 months or so. I WANT MORE !!!! Hahahaha…another time probably. Hope so…

Anyway..i’m a bit freaking out now. exam is on…and i just think i’m not ready, even though i still have a bit of time to study. i have a day off for preparing everything. but the problem is I JUST CAN’T BE BOTHERED. i did my english exam today. i thought it was all right, but most of my friend said it was hard. Ohh… i don’t know. i don’t wanna be too confident. one down, two to go !!! Yay…..

Hmm…what else i should say. i don’t really know what on earth i’m writing this.Just to keep me occupied i think. How uncanny !!!! Hmm…. i was watching 60 minutes this sunday. and it was talking about Michel leslie and her adventure in bali. when i watched it, i felt like i was slapped on my face.

she said she wasn’t guilty. she ’s the victim of someone. She got trapped by one of indonesian minister’s son or someone’s son who has a power in indonesia. and she also revealed the "fact" that actually she could go home at the night she got arrested IF she wanted to pay $ 33000. according to her "indonesian police said that". and also she said that she has to admit to the police that she’s guilty so she could go home soon. they mixed her urine with the drugs, to prove the law that she’s guilty, then all of the complicated process become shorten. her indonesian lawyer asked her to do so, because he thought if she kept playing the "angel scenario", (she kept saying that she’s not guilty), she’ll stay in jail LONGER than the amount of time she has to spend in jail if she admit she’s guilty. "believe me..we used to do it, and it always works" said her indonesian lawyer.

she kept telling her story. and i just sit there, couldn’t do anything, just listened to her. i have no idea what really happened. at 1 point, i just wanna make her shut up, but obviously i can’t. and the fact that everything that she said could be true. i felt really miserable… i wanna stand up for my country, but there’s tiny part of my heart who kept telling me "it’s could be true you know. you can’t close your eyes, n deny that they won’t do such a thing. because u do believe that they r capable for doing that". Ooh…Indonesia… i don’t even know what to say anymore. so pathetic…

and also she revealed the truth that SHE ISN’T MUSLIM. she wore hijab just to protect her self. dunno why, i was so relieved. Uhh….i can’t think anymore. i’m so stuffed…catch u soon…